The Black Hole.... of Sports
I enjoy sports as much as the next guy... but there comes a time in my life of enjoying sports when i feel like i want to stab myself with the sharpened end of a piece of cheesybread. This time that i refer to, is the "Black Hole of Sports," the time between the end of meaningful sports and the beginning of other meaningful sports.
Obviously, i'm not talking about hockey, which at this point has been shown its utter disappointment by having it's spot taken up on ESPN by reruns of Poker, and getting smashed in ratings by a group of gamblers huddled around a table trying not to smile.
That's right, i'm talking about the time between the end of basketball season and before football season. Now, "sports" minded people might argue that there is in fact a sport going on between that time, and that it's something called baseball...
"What" i retort... "the hell is this baseball you speak of?"
If baseball is a sport... so is bowling damnit, but unfortunately for me, the bowling isn't shown live or in order of events for that matter, and the bowlers don't drink, smoke and eat nachos on the TV events like i've come to expect from such high-calibur athletes.
For those who want to see people eating various foods and using various tobacco products DURING THE GAME... turn your attention to this "baseball."
Baseball is kind of cool i guess because it's one of the few sports that most average folks honestly feel like they have a real chance of joining and competing in... (provided you get your twice daily injections of steroids) It's the only professional sport where people can play well into their 60s. There aren't too many sports that can claim THAT now are there...?
Baseball usually consists of 3 people moving at any particular time (the guy who throws the ball, I like to call him "thrower man," the guy who catches the ball, "human target man," and the umpire). I'd add in the batter, but sometimes, he's even so bored by the sport, he doesn't even move when the pitch flies by. (I will stop here to say that "thrower man" is probably the only athletic person on the team, but after he throws, can't use his arm for anything for the next 2 months)
Even the commentators don't know what to talk about. The commentary that comes around consists usually of the guys asking each other what they had for lunch, and about the cup sizes of the batters' wives. They get to the point where i think in one game, they were actually counting the blades of grass growing on the infield. It's gotten to the point where i think the commentators are sitting in the booth watching reruns of football games, just to pass the time.
If you ever want to take a nap, but don't know how, turn on a baseball game, turn it up loud, and let the good times roll.
There's about two months until football season gets going, but until then, i'll try to enjoy my napping time, where i'll dream about myself watching football.
now for the wildly popular Mitch Hedberg quote of the day:
Obviously, i'm not talking about hockey, which at this point has been shown its utter disappointment by having it's spot taken up on ESPN by reruns of Poker, and getting smashed in ratings by a group of gamblers huddled around a table trying not to smile.
That's right, i'm talking about the time between the end of basketball season and before football season. Now, "sports" minded people might argue that there is in fact a sport going on between that time, and that it's something called baseball...
"What" i retort... "the hell is this baseball you speak of?"
If baseball is a sport... so is bowling damnit, but unfortunately for me, the bowling isn't shown live or in order of events for that matter, and the bowlers don't drink, smoke and eat nachos on the TV events like i've come to expect from such high-calibur athletes.
For those who want to see people eating various foods and using various tobacco products DURING THE GAME... turn your attention to this "baseball."
Baseball is kind of cool i guess because it's one of the few sports that most average folks honestly feel like they have a real chance of joining and competing in... (provided you get your twice daily injections of steroids) It's the only professional sport where people can play well into their 60s. There aren't too many sports that can claim THAT now are there...?Baseball usually consists of 3 people moving at any particular time (the guy who throws the ball, I like to call him "thrower man," the guy who catches the ball, "human target man," and the umpire). I'd add in the batter, but sometimes, he's even so bored by the sport, he doesn't even move when the pitch flies by. (I will stop here to say that "thrower man" is probably the only athletic person on the team, but after he throws, can't use his arm for anything for the next 2 months)
Even the commentators don't know what to talk about. The commentary that comes around consists usually of the guys asking each other what they had for lunch, and about the cup sizes of the batters' wives. They get to the point where i think in one game, they were actually counting the blades of grass growing on the infield. It's gotten to the point where i think the commentators are sitting in the booth watching reruns of football games, just to pass the time.
If you ever want to take a nap, but don't know how, turn on a baseball game, turn it up loud, and let the good times roll.
There's about two months until football season gets going, but until then, i'll try to enjoy my napping time, where i'll dream about myself watching football.
now for the wildly popular Mitch Hedberg quote of the day:
I had a parrot, and it talked.
But it did not say it was hungry, so it died.
posted by jon at
Thursday, July 14, 2005
4 Comments:
Jon Jon Jon.... your posts are always fun to read after a long day. Hahaha. See ya when I go visit the US.
By
Anonymous, at 4:13 PM
Valmont - I see you're here as well... Hmmm... this has narrowed down the scope of who you might be. I will continue to ponder.
Jon - Baseball. I agree. However, it can be fun to watch in person (with beer) and who doesn't love a good game of Home Run Derby, eh?
By
eric yang, at 7:29 AM
Eric's right...baseball sucks unless you're there. I can't wait for football season to begin. But don't knock poker.
Furthermore, I don't really even watch basketball. It's fun to play, not so fun on the tellie (pretend like I said "tellie" like an English person).
In other news...how the hell are you Eric?
By
Anonymous, at 1:25 PM
i think someone should stick up for baseball. so here goes. basically, you have to have played baseball (or at least t-ball or softball or something) to appreciate it on tv. baseball, admittedly, mostly moves at a pace that our adhd society doesn't have the patience for, but that is exactly its beauty. baseball is a game of skill, strategy, nerves, and heart. there's no clock that counts down how much time is left in the game, so no team can sit on a lead, make some plays, and run the clock out. each side gets its fair chance at turning the whole game around. a lot of times, it happens in the bottom of the ninth or in extra innings. it is that danger-- that anticipation-- that makes the game so great. one great play can turn the tide. baseball is also as hard a sport to play as any other out there. have you ever tried to hit a 2.86 inch diameter ball travelling at 90mph with a 2.5 inch diameter bat from only 60.5 feet away? incidentally, that means you have approximately 0.46 seconds from when the ball leaves the pitcher's hand to complete your swing. that means that if you swing the bat 0.01 seconds too soon or too late, the ball will go foul, and the decision to swing, based on whether you think the ball will be a strike or not, must occur within 0.04 seconds. can ya blame em for not swinging sometimes? and batting's not the only hard thing. have you ever tried to catch a fly ball to the outfield? trust me, it ain't easy. you have to judge the trajectory of the ball as it leaves the bat and start heading that way if you're to have any chance of even touching it. i know it doesn't sound hard, but when you're standing a football field's length away, first you see the ball leave the bat, then you hear the crack. experienced players can estimate the distance the ball will travel (i.e. which way to run and how far) based only on the angle of the trajectory and the sound of the hit. from that far away, you can't judge depth by sight, so by the time you see the ball coming down, you're too late if you're not already under it. after all, the ball leaves the bat travelling about 110 mph. and all this is just physics. the strategy doesn't come easily either. so yes, baseball isn't everyone's favorite sport to watch... but it should be.
By
Anonymous, at 10:21 AM
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