World's Slowest Children Ahead...

Pictured is a well... picture of an abandoned hippopotamus (quick Mitch Hedberg reference: do you think a hippopotamus is just a really cool opotamus?)... along with his newest friend a hundred year old tortoise. It has been reported that the love has blossomed within the last week (or 2 feet depending on how you're counting...). The hippo however, has been overheard saying how he feels that the relationship is moving "too fast."