Pizza Hutting out of control...

Pizza Hut has recently unveiled it's twisty crust, breadstick pizza. This was the next logical step after the three cheese heart disease (catchy name, rhymes too), pizza, the 12 meat pizza, and the ever-so-popular, triple decker pizza.
Alot of other pizza places have "gimmick" pizzas, but for the most part, are still... pizzas. Pizza Hut has gotten a bit out of control, leaning away from the "pizza" side of their namesake, and torpedoed directly toward whatever "hut" is. Assuming the "Hut" part of the name is what we all know and love, the adorable shantys made from mud and twigs, then yes, that is exactly what pizza hut is striving for.

Why can't the creative forces of the pizza hut corporation be more confident in themselves? I guess they feel like they are no good at making pizza, and are instead trying to cover it up with other distractions along the way. "Look, a shoe! (with pizza), or hey, that pizza has MONEY in the crust." Where will it end?

Soon, they're going to unveil the "plywood pizza." The ad campaign will sound something like this:
"Why build that addition to your house with wood from the home depot when you can get wood with 45 different melty cheeses on it, along with your favorite 38 other toppings (now including dog poo), and best of all, you can live in the leftovers!"

Places like papa john's have just strived forward using different toppings as their main draw. So much so that they're biggest unveiling was that of, gasp, THIN crust pizza (i hope you enjoyed that juxtaposition of me writing the word "thin" in capital letters as to make them appear fatter). Dominos isn't really dressing their pizza up at all, but are at least adding interesting side items to their menu (i can personally attest to the deliciocity [the verb form of delicious] of the buffalo wings and the cinna stix).

Pizza hut, take a page from the books of your competitors who are decimating you in the disc-like-foodstuff-delivery-business: be yourself. Not to the point where you're gonna put huts on your pizza (except the little barbie tables in the middle of the pizza, what ever happened to those?). Have more confidence, pizza hut, re-open your damn dining rooms (i used to love going to the pizza hut when i was a kid, playing video games, and having a great time), and stop putting crap in the crust (i don't wanna eat the crust anyway, i mean, it's a handle, i've been touching it, with my hands, you know how unsanitary that is?). Follow my instructions, brave pizza chain, and you shall once again, become a place where i will go to play video games and pee on the toilet seat.

Mitch Hedberg's QotD:

I think bigfoot is blurry. That's the problem. There's a big out of focus monster roaming the countryside, and that's even scarier.