Clap, but do it quietly...

Golf is one of those sports that makes you go "hmmmm..." If for no other reason than you have to ask yourself why someone would try so hard to hit a ball the size of an engorged tumor into a hole from 500 yards away. It seems to be insanity. I mean, if the game was to try to get it in the hole on the first shot every shot, now that would be impressive.

In basketball, if you shoot a ball at the hoop and miss, you don't get to pull out a shorter dude and see if he can make it (although i wouldn't be completely against watching that).

Golf, i'll have to say though, does have it's advantages. It's the only sport where you can walk the entire time (there's at least a brisk walk in bowling), where you can smoke whilst playing, and drive from place to place (at least bowlers have to walk to their lanes, carrying 16 pound balls... hehe, i said balls). It's one of those sports where everyone, provided they have the time and money has a shot at competing in, much like poker, or having sex with paris hilton. There's also no other sport that incorporates sand, water, grass, trees, sticks, balls and prostitutes (ok, the pickin's are slim on the course, but still).

I guess people might say that i am being unfairly harsh on golf because i suck ass at it (and it's true, but for the sake of this argument, let's pretend that's not the case). It's impossible to be good at golf, unlike say, mackin on chicks (which i'm awesome at... ok i'm not, but i like to tell myself that). I mean, tiger woods, arguably the greatest golfer there is, can't shoot well all the time, so what's the point? That's right, there is no point. It's just pointless to do something where there isn't a crowning achievement. I mean, you've got your superbowl in football, your world series in baseball, you're bowser's castle in mario, but what does golf have? Masters? Ok, you got me on that one. Disregard previous paragraph.

Well, the more i write, the more i'm realizing that perhaps golf actually is a pretty good sport overall, where the mental edge of the game is harder to overcome than in most other sports for the simple reason that you're playing against yourself, and that it's probably one of the most mentally challenging games on the face of the earth... but it's fun to make fun of people wearing stupid outfits chasing around little balls with sticks.



Mitch Hedberg's QotD:

I played golf. I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell "fore!" but I was too busy yelling, "there ain't no way that's gonna hit him!"