Poker in the front....

With the recent infux of poker mania both on tv and on the internet, i decided that i should take a long, hard look at what exactly this craze has going for it...

As far as i can figure, there are alot of people (myself included), with delusions of going to the world series of poker, and winning 10 bracelets (oh yeah, and some money). Most of the people who show up have little chance. But i guess it's the whole idea that however little, there is a chance, keeps people coming back for more. It's basically a really expensive lottery ticket.

The main event for the world series of poker carries with it a $10,000 price tag, with a payout this year of around 7.5 million bucks. Now, for sheer return on investment value, the powerball lottery would be a much better buy (i.e. $1 for $100 million+). But you're competing against around 100,000,000 (that's a hundred million for you folks that can't count to 6) other people, whereas in the poker thingy, you're only competing against a mere 6,000 other people.

Let's break this down into realistic terms though. I mean, considering the odds, you might as well pretend that the grand prize is a night in paris, in paris (ok, that was a terrible example, because the chances of that happening are simply limited to your chances of actually meeting ms. hilton where if you do, you'd prolly get to do her). Ok, but what if the grand prize was, i don't know, getting to have sex with kristen kreuk, but the catch being that she got to choose. First of all, more than 6,000 people would pay ten grand each to try that, but that's beside the point. You'd have no better chance than the geek sitting next to you who sold his entire star wars collection to scrape together the entry fee, but you'd still try...

That's why poker is the great equalizer. It's the baseball of gambling. Anyone who can sit upright can play, and you'll never see such a high percentage of old fat guys being "in their element" much like poker (haha, see what i did there with the mixing up of the baseball and the poker? nevermind... shut up).

Everyone goes to vegas looking for their jackpot, but most of the time, they only come back with empty pockets, and a story (and a strange itching sensation on their penises). It's all good though, because how else would we share the wealth (of std's)? Anyway, good luck to you all, if you want to find me, i'll be in the line trying to have sex with big rhonda from the local high school (i do have standards, but i don't have enough money to abide by them).




Mitch Hedberg's QotD:

I was at a concert in LA, and the band was having an off night, and some people in the audience started throwing tomatoes at the band. Now who would throw tomatoes at the band? That's bad. But who would bring a tomato to a show? That's worse. Don't throw tomatoes at the band. What if they really like tomatoes? They'll think you're enjoying the show. "You guys are great - here's a tomato!" The tomato is the universal sign for not enjoying a performance. Plus I like it on sandwiches! I had the guy at Subway put tomatoes on my sandwich because I didn't like the way he was making it. I don't know waht that meant there. That was ad-libbed.