My extra few pounds, are full of... knowledge!
We all know him. The know-it-all fat dude. This is the dude that isn't ashamed of his fatness, in fact, embraces this fatness and in the wake of this new found pride, feels that he needs to make up for the other fat dudes that are anti-social by going way over the top.
There are several levels of how this happens, but usually, the dude is really into something that most people only have a passing interest in. There's the comic book dude that everyone's met (and if you haven't, watch the simpsons), the computer dude, and invariably, the tv dude. All these guys can spout out information that no human being should ever have at their disposal, in a condescending tone no less.
"It's common knowledge that the second assistant coloring intern for the third issue of the comic book actually had sex with a real girl."
In contrast, it's common knowledge that thin, in shape guys are complete idiots in the ways of knowledge that is "useful" and "interesting." I mean, they get all the hot girls, and are more successful based soley on their looks, but what do they really know? I mean, do they know that there was a continuity error in back to the future during the scene where marty is trying to run away from the terrorists at the mall with the odometer? I don't think so.
Every once in awhile, you find the guy who's full of awesomely useless trivia, who's also good looking and not disgustingly obese. Most people call these guys "bastards" seeing as how they know all kinds of crap, and are still super good looking. Well, i have to say here, i know who my parents are, so stop calling me a bastard! (did you like how i snuck that in there?).
It's funny how attractive people, even if they are part of the select group that are geeks on the inside, can get away with stuff that most other people can't. I mean, they can get away with acting geeky, on the basis of being good looking, but on the other hand, people who are super nice, sometimes aren't taken seriously based on their looks. I guess my point is, if you're going to be a smartass, might as well look good doing it.
And to all the proprietors of comic book stores around the country, i think you guys are all pretty cool to hang out with, and for the most part, good guys, if you don't try harder with your appearance, you'll have to imagine that the girl that you're with (who looks more like a schoolhouse than the hot teacher inside), is the animated japanese cartoon girl, which i can say through experience (not really), is unhealthy.
Let's all do our best to become attractive geeks (the master race), and stop blaming those (of us) who are already there... :)
Mitch Hedberg's QotD:
There are several levels of how this happens, but usually, the dude is really into something that most people only have a passing interest in. There's the comic book dude that everyone's met (and if you haven't, watch the simpsons), the computer dude, and invariably, the tv dude. All these guys can spout out information that no human being should ever have at their disposal, in a condescending tone no less.
"It's common knowledge that the second assistant coloring intern for the third issue of the comic book actually had sex with a real girl."
In contrast, it's common knowledge that thin, in shape guys are complete idiots in the ways of knowledge that is "useful" and "interesting." I mean, they get all the hot girls, and are more successful based soley on their looks, but what do they really know? I mean, do they know that there was a continuity error in back to the future during the scene where marty is trying to run away from the terrorists at the mall with the odometer? I don't think so.
Every once in awhile, you find the guy who's full of awesomely useless trivia, who's also good looking and not disgustingly obese. Most people call these guys "bastards" seeing as how they know all kinds of crap, and are still super good looking. Well, i have to say here, i know who my parents are, so stop calling me a bastard! (did you like how i snuck that in there?).
It's funny how attractive people, even if they are part of the select group that are geeks on the inside, can get away with stuff that most other people can't. I mean, they can get away with acting geeky, on the basis of being good looking, but on the other hand, people who are super nice, sometimes aren't taken seriously based on their looks. I guess my point is, if you're going to be a smartass, might as well look good doing it.
And to all the proprietors of comic book stores around the country, i think you guys are all pretty cool to hang out with, and for the most part, good guys, if you don't try harder with your appearance, you'll have to imagine that the girl that you're with (who looks more like a schoolhouse than the hot teacher inside), is the animated japanese cartoon girl, which i can say through experience (not really), is unhealthy.
Let's all do our best to become attractive geeks (the master race), and stop blaming those (of us) who are already there... :)
Mitch Hedberg's QotD:
I had an ant farm once. Them fellas didn't grow shit!
posted by jon at
Monday, August 22, 2005
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