funny observations...

Just thought i'd share this post... it's from a cocktail waitress in las vegas, she has a pretty fun and interesting site... check it out at coctaildoll.com

Saturday, May 21, 2005
Shift: 10 AM - 6 PM
Station: Dice
So here's how my day went. For some reason we were talking about cockroaches in the bar, I think we were talking about Fear Factor or something. Anyway, I was still thinking about it when I walked out to take orders and, as I approached some customers, instead of, "Cocktails?" I said, "Cockroach?" This lady said, "Oh my god...where?!" I said, "I'm sorry, I meant 'cocktails.' I don't know why I said that." She said, "Oh, you scared me. I hate cockroaches! I thought you saw one." Then this other customer pointed at the floor and said, "Well, there's a dead one. Looks like you stepped on him." I looked down, and I swear to god, there was a brown, squished cockroach with its legs all sticking up and guts smeared all over. I looked at the bottom of my shoe, and sure enough, there was the rest of its legs and guts. I was like, "Oh...that is so gross!" Needless to say, they didn't order a drink. Later on, I walked smack! into a wall. I didn't have any drinks on my tray, but my pen, writing pad, and tip jar went down. Not to mention the tray jabbed me hard in the ribs. I mean, that hurt like a mother! I felt like such an idiot because some customers saw me, but they just turned back to their game. No one helped me, but at least no one made fun of me either. Then, on my last round, as I was whining and limping to my station delivering drinks, someone walking in front of me cut such a smelly one that I almost cried. And I couldn't escape it because I had to continue taking that path, and I was holding my tray with both hands because it was full of drinks so I couldn't use one hand to fan it away, and I didn't know who to blame it on since there were so many people in front of me. Not that I could even take a breath to have the strength to yell, "All right! Who dropped the nucleoid stink bomb!" And I wanted to turn to the people behind me and say, "I swear it's not me." But I had too much momentum going, and to stop and turn around would be risking a major collision with everyone. It was a hopeless situation. When I finally broke free from the crowd and started delivering my drinks, the first lady I came to handed me a dollar and said, "Seventy-five cents." I said, "You want a quarter back?" She said, "No, I want seventy-five cents back, you can keep a quarter." It was as if I was suspended in time as I processed this information, one hand still holding the dollar bill, the other one desperately trying to balance my still-full tray of drinks. I said, "Why don't you hold on to this, and after I bring you three more drinks you can give it to me." She thought about it, then said, "OK, that sounds great." Yeah, that sounds great. Then on my way home in the car, I was waiting at a stoplight when this bum working the corner, who comes into the casino all the time, recognized me and waved at me. I tried to ignore him but he walked right up to my window and was talking to me, saying hi, smiling and waving. All the other drivers were looking, wondering what was going on. I just covered my face and looked away, thinking, "Why me?!"