The Joy of Cooking... among other things...

So, this post is going to be a little short... for various reasons that will soon become clear...

So, the bracket shall remain un-updated as of now because it's really hard keeping up with the scores... no, cuz tennessee lost and now i could give a crap less what the hell happens...

Cooking is usually fun. I say usually here, because there's some times where it's not fun. I mean, cleaning up is not fun, and prep is usally not fun. Apparenlty a wife or significant other would come in quite handy at this point, because if i didn't have to prep or clean up, i'd cook constantly. Maybe i should become a chef afterall...

But i digress. The reason i say that prep isn't fun is because unless you're making a salad, the entire prep process leaves you with nothing more than a bunch of random ingredients strewn about the kitchen that have to be manipulated again before they become the final product. I mean, you're going through all the trouble of cooking, and not getting to eat yet. It's like if you went to the mcdonald's drive through and they made you pay at the second window, then have to drive all the way back around and pick up your food at the first window again, then have to throw away your food at the order microphone after you're done eating. It's redundant...

So, on to the reason the post shall be short. My usual 80-90 word typing ability has been severly hampered by the fact that i tried (unsuccessfully) to chop off one of my own fingers over the weekend whilst, you guessed it, prepping food to be cooked. Normally i'm pretty handy with a knife, and by handy i mean, not cut myself, but in this situation, i was faced with a foodstuff with which i wasn't too familiar. The bastard in question? The evil cabbage. The cabbage, apparently angry that it had been decapitated and sold at my local grocer, decided to make a pact with my henkel's knife and take it's revenge on me. This isn't the first time the german knives have taken revenge on me for no other reason than having purchased them from my friendly local linens n' things. Anyway, needless to say this time was undoubetly a major offensive on the part of the knife/cabbage coalition.

Here's a basic rundown of what happened immediately following the attack.

• 4:45:30 - looked down, realizing two pieces of skin normally attached are no longer so... also, connective tissue visible... interesting sensation.
• 4:45:31 - jumped up and down about 3-5 times
  
• 4:45:32 - blood begins oozing...
• 4:45:35 - grabbed paper towels to er... "mop up" and quell bleeding... patted myself on the back (figuratively) for having "splurged" on the nice bounty paper towels with the thirsty pockets.
• 4:50:00 - tried to figure out whether or not it was a good idea if i should go to the emergency room without health insurance.
  
• 6:05:30 - head to emergency room (after having made about an hours worth of phone calls and referencing webmd literally single-handedly)
  

Anyway, for the benefit of the kinda disturbed people out there, i shall add a link to the aftermath photos, so don't click if you don't like that sort of thing (it's after the emergency room visit, which i had to consult 4 people about whether or not they thought i should go), so for the real freakos out there, no bloody mess or anything...

Pictures here.

So, i hope you understand, even though it now looks as if i have written a pretty hefty post, but it has taken me many extra seconds being limited to the mid/ring/pinky fingers on the left hand. Try it sometime. Type a response to this message pinching your thumb and second fingers together, and also try to do stuff without being to pinch the thumb... yay.



Mitch Hedberg's QotD:

You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob," but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it cotn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm and they would call it "Mitch," but then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together."