Messages From Space...

I am a fan of the show star trek, among other shows like, super-jock-kick-ass hour (those two should cancel each other out right?). Anyway, since we all know that the show is called a "show" to throw the feds off the trail of the reality that it is in fact a true story, there are a few observations that i would like to share. And i'm glad that with that last sentence, you too know that star trek is real.

Ok, now that we've established that the shows we watch are transmissions from the future, it's time to dissect some of what the show is trying to tell us. Obviously, the shows are being filmed as a documentary and are being sent into the past for us to be able to learn about the ways of the future and the ways of the stars. (people laugh at geeks for taking this stuff too seriously, but they'll be the only ones prepared for the impending alien revolution) Anyway, there are some things that strike me as, well, let's just say different than what we're used to.

Everyone is usually pretty well made up on camera on star trek. Its cool because you would think that at some point, the cameras would happen upon someone who was having a bad hair day, or maybe having a "fat" day. Either the camera crew is really good in warning that they're coming, or in the future, everyone has those makeup tattoos.

It's also amazing that the camera crews were always around when there happens to be an extraordinary event taking place. Usually this event serves to put the lives of everyone on board the ship in mortal danger. I'm no expert, but if i were in command of a star ship (not out of the realm of possibility in my mind), i would never allow a film crew on board. Even worse would be if my ship were supposed to meet up with another ship at some point because it's always the ship that was supposed to be somewhere that ends up missing, and the camera crew laden ship would come by later to find that my ship had been destroyed by space-snot. So on second thought, i guess i'd rather have the camera crew on my ship.

The future is very exciting because it also seems to hold several significant physiological evolutions. One of these is that no one ever sweats. I don't know if its just a better anti-perspirant that they're using, but there doesn't seem to be such a thing as sweat in the future. Good times for the people not wanting to be stinky... bad times for the makers of old spice.

But perhaps more significant that any other biological and physiological evolution is that no one has to go to the bathroom anymore. I mean, have you ever even seen a bathroom on star trek? Or star wars for that matter. I mean, no one poops, pees, has stomach aches, or has to run off right quick to releive themselves. Either they're just really good at holding in their pee, or they just don't have to pee anymore... I kinda wish i had such capabilities at this point, because holding in pee is hard... as can be evidenced by my wet pant leg thanks to trying to finish this post....



Mitch Hedberg's QotD:
I was at a bar, and this guy bumped into me, and he did not apologize, and he said, "Move!" I thought that was rude, so I said, "Go to hell!" Then I started to run. He caught up to me. He had a mustache, a goatee, a pair of earrings, sunglasses, a ponytail and he was wearing a hat. He said, "Hey, you got a lot of nerve!" I said, "Hey, you got a lot of... cranium accessories!"