To Tell, or Not To Tell...

There comes a time in everyone's life where they are faced with a problem. A problem so profound that it tugs at the very fibers of one's being. Fundamental problems that without the wisdom of a freud-like persona, one might never find the solution to. I shall attempt to grapple with, and find a solution to, said problem.

Everyone these days has a telephone. And generally, everyone has friends that have telephones. At first, when the telephone was still a relatively new invention, it was an event to get a call. People would wait around the phone in the hopes that someone would call and if someone did call, they would be sure to answer it immediately. But, as it turns out, things lose their luster over time.

It's kind of like how people used to make a big deal about the president being on tv. People would plan their night around the televised address, and would get mad if anyone talked while the president was speaking. Then, as tv grew more and more popular, and the president was on tv more and more, it just kind of lost the luster associated with it. In a twist of irony, our current president has made it fun to watch televised presidential addresses again, but this time, in the same vein as watching a squirrel look for the nut he know he buried earlier, but had since been moved. You know, for sport.

The telephone has gone through a similar declination over the years. At first, people were excited about the phones, then after it became somewhat commonplace, people would start "screening" their calls, with answering machines, caller id, and the like. When the wireless phone industry first started sprouting roots into our minds (in the form of brain cancer), people got excited about phones again. Then, just as the way of their land based cousins, people started to get jaded with the whole business.

Of course, the other side effect of people becoming jaded about phones and contact is that they start to avoid calls. This always sets up a situation in which, you start calling people in the phone book only to reach the dreaded voicemail. Then, you call the next person on the list with the same result. This can go on for several minutes until you're now calling the 15th person in a feeble attempt at making some sort of human contact based solely on principle. At this point, something unexpected happens, the 15th person answers. Now what? Chances are, you haven't talked to this person in months, and now, we come face to face with the aformentionted dilemma:

should you disclose that you could really care less about this person and that the only reason you were talking to him at all was due to the fact that everyone else in your phone book screened your call?

Of course! What fun would it be if you didn't disclose that information? I mean, when someone calls you and the first thing they say is: "Finally, someone answered the phone! You're like the 20th person i called... damn!" You can't help but smile. Some people have told me that this isn't common, but what to they know? I mean, (ooh, i think it's ringing... i know they're gonna pick up this time...)



Mitch Hedberg's QotD:

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs to get a hold of me, they just say, "Mitch," and I say, "What?" and turn my head slightly.